Mixed Feelings

Hi Everyone,
I just got home from 6 days in Florida with my Mom and my Auntie Sherrie. We visited my cousin CJ for two days in Miami, then headed to Tampa and Ocala to hang out with my Grandma and Grandpa Teuber.

It was a fun trip but not really vacation like. We spent most of our time in the car shuttling between the different cities with a lot of luggage. Wherever my Mom and Aunt went, TJ Maxx bags seemed to follow them!

I slept at my Grandparents house, and that was nice to spend time with them. They are very spry, 84 and 89, and they work around their house as though they are 40!

I feel so well, and I look healthy. It is just so hard to think that a year ago, the doctors were telling me that my cancer had spread, and I wasn't harvesting stem cells. It was not that long ago, but it seems like my world has changed, and I never had cancer.

My friend, that I met over the Internet, Alese Coco, is a Hodgkin's champion, and has been working at eradicating her disease since 2001. She just found out that she is to have her second stem cell transplant. She is so spunky, and pretty and full of life. I can't believe that she is going through this some more. Please say a prayer for her at alesecoco.org. There you will find links of cancer surviviors and a memorial page. She has been sweet enough to put my blog on her page. The disturbing thing was to see how many memorial tributes there are with people who had the same crippling disease that I had.

It just makes me put everything into perspecitve. After I started feeling better, I started to do things like before I was diagnosed such as drinking alcohol, and eating food that wasn't so great for you. And now that I am better, I feel like I am back up to my old tricks.

Seeing people who lost their fight, or are still fighting Hodgkin's, brings back a sea of emotions for me from my illness, and a reality check. I fought so hard to be here, and now that I am here, I am not fully appreciating my life as much as I should be. It is almost like I have forgotten everything I have been through. Sounds crazy doesn't it?

I just need to always keep my experience close to my heart, and never forget. The scariest thing with cancer is that even though it is gone for a while, it doesn't mean it is going to stay away forever.

I see Dr. Winter early on Thursday, and we will do full labs, full hormone testing and a panel to see if my measels, mumps and rubella immunizations have been compeltely wiped out, or if I have some immunity left. This will be great because with the fertility tests we can gain a sense of if I really am menopausal or not. I will let you guys know when I find something out.

Love,
Sherrie